I feel like this is a “never fails” moment in your life, especially when you become pregnant. All of a sudden you go from being a first call to a “oh she’s pregnant, they won’t want to come” thought in someone’s mind. It’s semi understandable. No, you wont be able to be the life of the party you may have been before. No, you probably won’t stay out past midnight as often or at all. No, you can’t take shots with the squad. No, you won’t look as cute with your bump in the “girls night out” photo-op. BUT, you know what you can do? You can still dance, have a great time, drink mock-tini’s and DRIVE your drunken gal pals home! These are still key and important qualities! So if you are the un-invited, keep your head up babe we know you are totally still down to party!
For the un-inviting- as a current pregnant friend of yours that you have officially not invited to gatherings, nights out, wine Wednesday or whatever it may be- this sucks. It sucks to be a so called friend who isn’t thought of anymore! I know in your mind you are saving the phone call for when I ultimately pop the baby out and can have a good time again, in your mind you do not think I have any desire to come, in your mind I may have already said no a few times so you don’t want to waste your time. But the thought of not being thought of, sucks. It seems in this moment that if you haven’t thought of me (or your pregnant friends) that I simply was not a true friend to begin with… It doesn’t hurt to ask the question, throw the invite out there even if you know that we can’t make the party!
I’ve actually been wanting to write about this for quite some time now, way before pregnancy. It doesn’t always boil down to just pregnancy and friendships. This is ultimately all friendships!
Say it with me now- SHE IS GOING AFTER HER GOALS AND SHOULD NOT BE PUNISHED
I have many friends that cannot make a lot of events/ day drinking trips/ dinners or whatever! I have many friends who I KNOW for a FACT will work every Friday and Saturday night and can’t make whatever I wanted to invite them to. But the difference is, I invite them anyway. I know it will be a “I can’t come,” but I want them to know that I thought of them enough and thought of our friendship to at least let them know I WISHED they could come!
My point is- In the second case, you have friends who have goals. Friends who have careers and paths ahead of them that may make it difficult for them to appear at a cocktail hour or birthday dinner, but this is not something that they should be punished for! If you believe that they are still a decent friend, decent enough for your love and friendship, you should still extend the invite. Sometimes we can get discouraged as humans, by constantly being told “no I can’t make it,” so we stop reaching out. In some cases, I get it. But in the case that the friend in question is striving to make a good life and go after their goals or dreams, INVITE THEM ANYWAY. You have no idea what the simple gesture can mean. It truthfully can be the difference in a lifelong friendship and one that fades out! Not to mention, who doesn’t want to remain the friend of a future CEO 😉